Sometimes parents stay together just for the pure benefit of their children. Coming from that type of parenting for awhile I have a strong opinion on this subject. Why should parents stay together just for children? Is it truly allowing them to foster a better perspective and live a better life or deteriorating it piece by piece? There are exceptions for certain situations, which is evident if there is already an ongoing issue within the family; for example death, sickness, a celebration. Although a marriage should be a commitment based off love and lifelong trust and values that are kept to one another. It seems as if that is non-existent in today’s society. Parents should not keep one another close for the security of a child, or to give one the “American family.” This is building a false reality within the household that will fester and create emotional issues and conflicts for the child. These problems will only proceed to taint the child’s perspective within society.
According to Eric Erikson, this is because childhood and society have a direct link to one another. He states in childhood issues and conflicts are closely knitted to society and are shown through actions and relationships. These changes that society establishes are evident in everyday life and the mindset of humans that have been through inter-conflict. This conflict, I think, is within everyone.
Children under the age of eighteen look up to their parents. Usually, they learn the nature of their parent’s marriage and relate it to other things. They may absorb from parents what love is, or what love isn’t. Many children may judge general concepts and apply them in everyday situations. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, humans need to possess the fundamental needs: physiological, safety, to be loved or belong, esteem, and self-actualization. I believe that children whose parents are together but waiting to get divorced are not providing the necessary needs to their kids. This is holding up the child’s potential to strive for their dreams since they are preoccupied with whether their parents are alright and truly love each other.
Soooo... why should parents stay together and live a false life? Provide their children with a family that is constructed out of a front? That's what I thought, they shouldn't.
SOURCE: Wallerstein, Judith and Lewis, Julia. “The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce Report of a 25-Year Study.” Academic Search Premier. Psychoanalytic Psychology 2004, Vol. 21, No. 3. Belvedere, California. 353–370. Educational Publishing Foundation. Web. 19 November 2011.
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