From the Past to the Present

The history of the role of marriage explains the background to marrying for love. The introduction of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, Stephanie Coontz gives the general timeline of marriage from the Stone Age to today. 

In the Stone Age, marriage was instituted in order for men to protect women, which could also be viewed as man exploiting women as their property. In addition, marriage allowed groups to stay together as compared to diversely spread villages or towns. As civilizations became more complex and stratified, elites started hoarding resources and marriage became an economic exchange. This economic period in the 18th century led to marriages in which a wife supplied a dowry in order to suffice wealth in Europe. 

Through this time falling in love existed, but marriage was not about love it was more about match-making, the ability to live with your partner. Although in Western Europe and North American in the 18th century marriage became free choice and marrying for love intertwined into the culture. 

Next century, men became the providers for the family and women became the nurturers. (This ideal has been targeted now in the infamous phrase, “Make me a sandwich.”) Then in the 1950’s an eclectic approach to marriage was established as individuals began to take into account personal life ideals and ideals of love match and lifelong intimacy. Along with these positive ideals and aspirations by couples came dreadful divorces, when dreams were met with imperfections.

 In the 1970’s, couples couldn’t afford fanciful dreams of romantic love and personal fulfillment. Slowly but surely from marriage being a sort of ownership until marrying solely for love in the 21st century, we now expect a “love-based male bread winner marriage with ideals of lifelong monogamy and intimacy.” This romantic, dependent marriage in which the couple separates themselves from society in order to blossom a family and survive causes a challenge within marriages which often leads to divorces.


Coontz, Stephanie. Marriage, A History. New York: Penguin Group, 2005. 1-9. Print.