From the Past to the Present

The history of the role of marriage explains the background to marrying for love. The introduction of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, Stephanie Coontz gives the general timeline of marriage from the Stone Age to today. 

In the Stone Age, marriage was instituted in order for men to protect women, which could also be viewed as man exploiting women as their property. In addition, marriage allowed groups to stay together as compared to diversely spread villages or towns. As civilizations became more complex and stratified, elites started hoarding resources and marriage became an economic exchange. This economic period in the 18th century led to marriages in which a wife supplied a dowry in order to suffice wealth in Europe. 

Through this time falling in love existed, but marriage was not about love it was more about match-making, the ability to live with your partner. Although in Western Europe and North American in the 18th century marriage became free choice and marrying for love intertwined into the culture. 

Next century, men became the providers for the family and women became the nurturers. (This ideal has been targeted now in the infamous phrase, “Make me a sandwich.”) Then in the 1950’s an eclectic approach to marriage was established as individuals began to take into account personal life ideals and ideals of love match and lifelong intimacy. Along with these positive ideals and aspirations by couples came dreadful divorces, when dreams were met with imperfections.

 In the 1970’s, couples couldn’t afford fanciful dreams of romantic love and personal fulfillment. Slowly but surely from marriage being a sort of ownership until marrying solely for love in the 21st century, we now expect a “love-based male bread winner marriage with ideals of lifelong monogamy and intimacy.” This romantic, dependent marriage in which the couple separates themselves from society in order to blossom a family and survive causes a challenge within marriages which often leads to divorces.


Coontz, Stephanie. Marriage, A History. New York: Penguin Group, 2005. 1-9. Print.

21st Century Marriage

The history of marriage has evolved from marrying for political, social and economic standpoints to the idea of love. But this "love," has many different attributes that is causing the divorce rate to increase to about 49% in America from back in the day when divorces were highly frowned upon.
Many people are basing love solely off of emotions and physical attraction. For example, I know that by talking to someone you like you start to wonder, "What if..." you think if he's making me this happy now, imagine how it'll be if we spent forever with each other. This thought is repeated in the media daily.
In history around the 15th century, King Henry VIII of England sought a divorce from his wife Catherine of Aragon due to his infatuation with Anne Boleyn, his mistress. This well-known divorce was new to the Church and left a huge mark on marriage, basically spelling out its impurities and temporariness.

Reasons Behind the Ring

Marriage has evolved from marrying for social class to pacifying counties and solidifying alliances to present day marrying for love, which many have distinct definitions. What is love? That is another question. But how has marriage changed so drastically over merely five centuries? 

This article accounts for all shifts and different approaches to marriage. Adultery and friendships were much more passionate than marriages during Enlightenment and Victorian Eras. As we all know in our history books, marriages were arranged and there were strict rules and guidelines which one had to follow. In 1840 England, the dress transformed from a traditional jeweled gown to virginal white. Women were now considered pure and chaste, men got with prostitutes before their wives. 

Although this is extremely rare today in American culture, marriages occur through dating and developing relationships over the years and a bond of love that mends the two together. Fast forwarding to the 21^st century marriages are necessary and the basis of true love which relied primarily upon emotions, which has been leading to many devastating divorces. People mistake feelings of lust and butterflies for love in today’s society and marry for reasons that are seemingly based off emotions.

The Trouble with Love Is...

“I married my best friend.” This is what I hear about love. Although, whoever you choose to marry eventually is somewhat forced to become your best friend. All of the attraction and sex on the planet isn't what makes a marriage because at some point, you just have to sit across the dinner table and have an actual conversation. This saying is one that puzzles many because it is not necessarily true. You are two complete people, regarding whether you’re best friends, who come together to make something entirely new, there are always things to work through, ups and downs because you are individuals and no one is easy to be with. But how do you grow off that secret-telling, best friend, always-together relationship to marriage?

That best friend knows all your secrets which creates tension, although it’s beneficial for being in a relationship, some things are better left unsaid. Hiding things from your significant other can lead to bad situations. This means the whole “ignorance is bliss” and “white lies” concepts can turn into lies, which then catch snowball effect leads to a life consumed of lies and betrayal. But shouldn’t all of your secrets be known if you’re going to marry? This is where being best friends before marriage can help you out. Yet some say, marriage forces people into being best friends, but if it did, people wouldn't get divorced as frequently.

Too often, people mistake that amazing, loving, tingly feelings of butterflies in their stomach for being in love and they don't understand that marriage is hard work. A best friend is there to make you laugh and pick you up when you are down, but there's a reason that romance novels are in the fiction section. Best friends falling in love is in our media, society and constantly repeated in hearsay around us, but it isn’t an excuse to immediately commit to your best friend.

http://www.selfempoweringtips.com/happiness/Is-Happiness-Marrying-Your-Best-Friend.html

Inaugural Post

I am exploring the topic of love, more specifically marrying your best friend. This is important in today’s society because when it comes down to it, we all want to be loved. We want to come home to someone’s face smiling on our arrival and sleep soundly in his or her arms until the next day. But does marrying your best friend help or hurt you? Does it allow your significant other to be more comfortable with knowing all your secrets, or is ignorance truly bliss? Does true love blossom with time or at first sight?